Calm your tits, it’s not boiling yet!

It’s Friday and the gorgeous sun that we’ve had all week has suddenly and distressingly been snatched away by the sky gods, so we decided to hole up inside and cooking Warming Food and Watch StarWars and Listen to Backstreet Boys. (Is our age showing?)

After vetoing ALL THE THINGS involving aubergine and cucumber, we settled on the following recipe.

This recipe is so good, Three and Four are still scraping the pots. We have declared culinary triumph and are feeling very smug about our skills.

Jaime Oliver’s Chicken, Chorizo and Prawn Jambalaya

Final_Small
You will need:
(We halved the recipe found here and adjusted spice levels to Not British.)

  • Four chicken thighs
  • 150g quality smoked sausage (we used chorizo) cut into 1cm thick slices
  • 12 raw king prawns
  • sea salt
  • black pepper
  • cayenne pepper
  • olive oil
  • 1 large onion, peeled and roughly chopped
  • 1 green pepper, deseeded and roughly chopped
  • 1 red pepper, deseeded and roughly chopped
  • 2 sticks celery, trimmed and roughly chopped
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 2 sprigs fresh thyme
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 2 fresh red chillies, deseeded and chopped
  • 200g tinned chopped tomatoes
  • 750 mls organic chicken stock
  • 350g long-grain rice
  • half handful of fresh curly parsley
  1. Skin the chorizo (*insert phallic joke here*) and season the chicken with salt, pepper and cayenne pepper. Make sure you’ve chopped all the ingredients as mentioned above.
  2. Heat the pot with oil and throw in the chicken and sausages. Watch for scalding hot chorizo scented oil spraying on your face.
  3. After the chicken has browned add the onions, celery, peppers, thyme, bay leaves, salt and pepper.
  4. Stir and fry on a medium heat for 10-12 minutes until the vegetables have softened. Stir occasionally.
  5. Add the garlic and chillies. Stir around for a minute or so and then add the tomatoes and chicken stock to the pot.
  6. Bring everything to a boil. Keep your tits calm, make sure it’s really boiling. Place the lid on the pot, turn down the heat and simmer for 30-35 minutes. The chicken is ready once you can easily pull the meat off the bone. At this point, taste the sauce and realize it needs a lot more cayenne than the recipe called for. Do not taste without stirring after adding the cayenne- unless you have no lungs. If you like you can remove the chicken bones, then add the rice. Give it a good stir and put the lid on.
  7. Cook for 15-20 minutes until the rice is cooked, stirring occasionally. DO NOT REMOVE LID FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME DAMMIT. THE MOISTURE. IT ESCAPES. Add more water if you feel the rice needs more liquid (hint: it will). Taste and congratulate yourself on your awesome Jambalaya making skills.
  8. Stir in the prawns and chopped parsley. Cook for 4-5 minutes, until the prawns are pretty in pink (*alliteration orgasm*). Season with salt, pepper and more cayenne pepper. Serve and enjoy.
  9. Lick the golden bits at the bottom of the pot. (You’re imagining golden penises aren’t you? Good.)

Rating: 8/10

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s